The mission begins- No.1 The Palmeira

When: 24 August 2011
Location: Palmeira Pub 70-71 Cromwell Road, Hove
I paid: £2.41 for a pint of orange juice and lemonade. (wimp)

Ok, so maybe it's something of a copout starting 100 yards from my front door but I had to start somewhere so why not with what could technically be termed my 'local'? Copout no. 2, I'm not even drinking, not in the alcohol sense of the word anyway. Mindful of the previous weekends lager overindulgence (by my admittedly lightweight standards) and the forthcoming Bank Holiday weekend, I decide to give my consumption of alcohol units a deserved night off and opt for a wimpy orange juice and lemonade.

"We've got the games that matter", boasts the billboard outside the pub. And evidently those that don't. Despite there being three flatscreen TV's dotted around the pub showing Arsenal's Champions League clash with Udinese, the place is sparsely populated and devoid of atmosphere save for one or two plastic gooners halfheartedly berating their teams efforts. But I didn't come here to watch football and maybe nobody else does either. Perhaps on the nights no football is shown the place is really buzzing? Perhaps. Situated on the fringes of a middle-class area (I know that because I live here, haha) it's location probably does it no favours. Large and impersonal, it just doesn't have the feel of a cosy neighbourhood 'local' and this being Hove, there are plenty of alternative options within walking distance. They must rue the day that Legal & General decamped from their head office in Davigdor Road, immediately taking away the bulk of the lunchtime and early evening trade. Still, I didn't want to start with a bad review. There's nothing particularly wrong with the pub, it's clean, the staff are friendly and there's no undercurrent of aggression that you sometimes get in pubs where football is showing. Best of all, should I ever decide to return and opt for something a bit stronger than OJ and lemonade, at least I haven't got far to stagger home....

Dog Friendly: No dogs                   Games: Fruit machine. No pool table, dartboard or jukebox.

Outside seating: A few tables and chairs at the front on Cromwell Road and a small patio at the back that has been annexed by the smoking crowd.

Food: Surprisingly large menu offering the standard pub fare as well as a few surprises (strawberries and cream?). Reasonably priced. Financial constraints kept me from indulging.

Quiz: Tuesday night                           Live music: Forgot to ask, I doubt it.

OVERALL SCORE: 5.5/10.........meh.