Sweeeeeet!. No.12 The Barley Mow

When: Thursday, February 9th 2012
Where: The Barley Mow, 92 St.Georges Road, Brighton.
I paid: £3.30 for a pint of Arundel, 20p for 10 blackjacks.

Situated right in the heart of Kemp Town it's hard to miss the Barley Mow as it's painted in a somewhat garish pale lilac. Not that you'd want to pass it by anyway. It also used to be my local when I lived just round the corner but there's no point getting nostalgic now.......I visited on quiz night and had managed to rope in three friends to make up a team so the joy at returning to one of my favourite pubs was doubled by the fact I wouldn't be a sad, solo drinker.

The bar offers a good selection of drinks and local ales and for those not content with just wrecking their liver then there is the opportunity to start on the teeth as there is a wide variety of sweets available of the type you used to buy as a kid. Blackjacks, fruit salad, coconut snowballs and fizzy cola bottles are all there. In normal circumstances I probably wouldn't dream of eating them these days but when you're standing at the bar and see those brightly coloured boxes well.......just like a kid, really. The youth of today are also well catered for with M & M's and Haribo but these are generally frowned upon by your hardened sweeteater.

Ok, enough about the confectionery. The pub itself is small and and cramped but with a large open fire and dogs roaming freely around, it has a warm, friendly atmosphere. Unfortunately its lack of space ensures close proximity to others and tends to be a drawback on quiz night, particularly when you have a tendency to blurt out the answers and have a foghorn voice (luckily, I didn't get many right). There are no TV's but there is a small selection of battered boardgames available (Star Wars Trivial Pursuit, anyone?). A sense of community spirit is also in evidence as the pub is the sponsor of Kemp Town FC (Sussex Sunday Junior Division 5 when I checked in The Argus, not as good as the mighty Horsdean) and their upcoming fixtures are posted on the chalkboards. As well as this there is the 'Pillar of the community' next to the bar where locals can place free ads for items for sale, upcoming events etc. Food is served until late if you don't fancy gorging on blackjacks and is all cooked freshly on the premises. As well as a large weekday selection there is also a separate menu for Sunday roasts and although I didn't indulge on this occasion (it was a Thursday) I have in the past (back when it was my local, sob!) and can testify to its goodness.

We didn't win the quiz. There were accusations from a couple of team members that other teams were cheating but it might just have been that we were crap. Outside it had begun to snow heavily and the talk had turned to the unlikely but welcome possibility that we might get snowed in. I can think of a lot worse places for that to happen. Did I mention it used to be my local?

Dog friendly: Oh yes           Entertainment: Fruit machine, boardgames. Not much room for anything else.

Outdoor seating: Heated, covered patio area at rear. Dominated by the smokers, it was a bit overpowering.

Quiz: Erm, Thursday 9 P.M!      

Food: Large menu available as well as a separate Sunday one. Slightly above average prices.

OVERALL SCORE: 9.5/10......Local hero.
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Give it a shot......No.11 The Golden Cannon

When: 3rd February 2012
Where: The Golden Cannon, 20-21 St. Georges Road, Brighton
I paid: £3.00 for a pint of Harveys

A visit to the Golden Cannon is a bit like going for a beer at your mates flat. If he had a large, scruffy lounge. A large, scruffy lounge and had invited the grandparents around. It's strictly no frills but in a way that's part of the charm. Kemp Town village where it is situated has a tendency to take itself a bit too seriously sometimes and the Golden Cannon offers a refreshing, unpretentious alternative.


Another terrible photo

It's basically one large room with a u-shaped bar along one wall serving a rather meagre selection of drinks. As it was a Friday night there was a brisk trade and the barmaid seemed to know everyone by name, which gave the place a comfortable, friendly atmosphere. Most of the furnishings and wooden flooring are scuffed and well worn but there are a couple of comfortable sofas in one corner along with some carpeting that looks like it's been there since the pub first opened (1909 apparently). A few books were available on top of a cabinet but once again it appeared that I was the only person who entertained the idea that they might actually be there to read as they were covered in a layer of dust that would put even my flat to shame (Surgery for nurses, by Dawson & Love).



There is little in the way of distractions. Just a fruit machine that went ignored just as much as the books and a barmaid attempting to sing along to Dancing Queen on the radio (some of her suggestive gyrations were a bit scary). I can't say I felt like spending my whole evening there but it's a nice enough place to stop for a quick pint. It doesn't serve food but most of the punters upon leaving made a beeline for Tuckers burger bar on the other side of the road. I decided to join them. Perfect.

Dog friendly: Yes                                  Outdoor seating: none

Entertainment: A fruit machine                Quiz: nope

Food: Tuckers, 10 yards across the road       Live music: The barmaid sings Abba on request

OVERALL SCORE: 5.5/10........cheap and cheerful.


Rock Inn all over the world. No.10 The Rock

When: February 3rd 2012
Where: The Rock Inn, 7 Rock Street, Brighton
I paid: £3.15 for a pint of Doom Bar

The Rock Inn is situated at the 'posh' end of Kemp Town just a short walk from the fancy flats of Sussex Square and Chichester Terrace. It's slightly apart from the other Kemp Town pubs (unless you count the I Go Inn, and most people don't) so it's catchment area is larger than most. Despite this though, it was quiet for a Friday evening when I paid a visit. Maybe it was the way the barmaid continued to talk to her friend at the bar and barely acknowledged me as she pulled my pint, but I didn't warm to the place straight away (which was a shame given the temperature outside).  A trivial incident perhaps, but it got my back up.

The pub has a rather cramped feel too it in the main bar, with most of it dominated by a large pillar and mirror. There is a coffee bar in one corner, which serves from 9 A.M and also sells bags off coffee to take away (if you're too lazy to go to the shops I guess). A couple of large screen TV's show all major sporting events but one is so carelessly positioned that it's visible only to a handful of tables. I have no problem with music in pubs and think it lends a certain atmosphere but here the volume was at a level that people were having to raise their voices to make themselves heard and the music was of the Smiths and Echo & The Bunnymen 'slash yer wrists' variety. (christ, I was in a bad mood).

It was only when I wandered out to the rear of the pub to escape the music that it took on a whole new dimension. There is a small 'snug' that is not visible from the main bar, with comfortable seating and a very welcome open fire as well as a handsome separate pool room that houses two pool tables (but no dartboard). Whilst looking for the toilets I inadvertently stumbled upon 'The Gallery' upstairs as well. This is a showcase for the works of local artists apparently but whether they were any good or not I couldn't say as the room was in near darkness. Any community involvement can only be a good thing though and I was suddenly inclined to look at the pub in a much more favourable light. Even the barmaid managed a "see you later mate", as I made my exit. Yeah, why not?

Dog friendly: nope         Barmaid friendly: No, she wasn't

Food: Sunday roasts and meals available bought in from The Swan Bistro apparently, no price list.

Quiz: Tuesday 8.30        Outdoor seating: Small heated patio garden and tables.

Entertainment: Two TV's, fruit machine, a very nice separate pool room.

Miscellaneous: Small coffee bar serving from 9 A.M and a large downstairs function room available for hire.

Overall score: 6.8/10......keep on Rock Inn me baby.

I was at home in bed, Your Honour. No.9 The Alibi

When: February 1st 2012
Where: The Alibi Pub, 22 Victoria Terrace, Hove
I paid: £3.00 for a pint of Harveys

The Alibi is not in the most attractive of locations. Standing on one of the busiest stretches of Kingsway, it is perched between a somewhat scruffy row of shops and a service station. Sadly, even the large suntrap beer garden at the rear of the pub is unable to provide a sea view as it is overlooked by the flats on Hove promenade. Still, at least it enables drinkers to get an idea of what the wealthy get up to in the evenings (the washing up, as far as I could see). I visited on a bitterly cold evening so the open fire was very welcome, but there wasn't that many punters in despite the 'attraction' of Bolton v Arsenal being screened on the large screen TV. The game was not being broadcast on satellite or terrestrial TV so I was unsure as to what feed they were using. Unwilling to seem like a nosy git just wandering in off the street asking questions I refrained from enquiring but as the game was being advertised heavily on boards outside the pub, if it was an illegal feed then they weren't being very covert about it.

As the King Alfred leisure centre is only a couple of hundred yards away, it is an ideal place to stop for a quick drink after a gym session or as in my case, another dismal attempt at swimming. Judging by the number of sports bags in evidence this is a popular option. Whilst most people gathered at the front of the pub for the football, I retreated to the large dining area at the rear where I was able to bag a comfortable leather settee to myself. As well as a smaller TV showing the football, there was also a tempting selection of board games. As I already cut a rather pathetic figure sitting on my own making notes however, I didn't wish to enhance the illusion by playing a game of Buckaroo. Books were also in evidence but upon closer inspection appeared to be more for decoration than actual reading (Elementary Algebra by D M Simpson might be slightly heavy going after a couple of pints).

The food menu is small but reasonably priced. The pub does special promotions throughout the week and I was particularly taken with 'Chilli night' on Mondays when you are able to get a free bowl of chilli and bread with a pint of San Miguel or bottle of Sol. There are also offers on Sunday roasts, £8.95 for one, £16 for two, etc. (that's me sorted then but if anyone wants to come with me it's £22 for three). Posters advertise the monthly comedy club and there is a fortnightly karaoke night. Indeed, unlike some pubs that just seem happy merely to exist, The Alibi takes an active interest in actually getting customers through the door. It worked on me, I liked it here. I'll be back.

Dog friendly: nope                  Food: small menu, all freshly cooked. Decent selection of drinks

Entertainment: Two TV's (neither showing The Alibi channel, thank christ), a fruit machine, board games. No jukebox, pool tables or dartboard.              Outdoor seating: Very large beer garden to rear.

Quiz: None                                       Live music: None advertised but there's karaoke!

OVERALL SCORE: 8/10........it's a fair cop.

I beg your pardon, I never promised you a Hoegaarden. No.8 The Albion Inn

When: 30 January 2012
Where: The Albion Inn, 28 Albion Hill, Brighton.
I paid: £3.50 for a pint of London Pride, innit?

The Albion Inn, Brighton. Not to be confused with The Albion Inn, Hove or indeed, The Albion Inn, Islington. Yet to visit the Hove offering but hopefully they're both better than this place. Situated halfway up Albion Hill, it's sandwiched between muesli friendly Hanover and the less salubrious tower blocks of the Ashton Rise estate. Unfortunately, I have first hand knowledge of the high-rise grubbiness because I used to work here. The only enjoyment coming from seeing how quickly I could pelt down the 12 storeys whilst delivering (the record being 4 mins 36 seconds, Thornsdale, June 2007....no misdeliveries that day then!) Oh what fun I had....

  The pub itself could probably do with a good scrub as well. There are two bars but both are sparsely furnished with a few tables and wooden flooring throughout. There are plenty of pictures adorning the walls, some are of relevant Brighton scenes but most are just a jumble that seem to have been put up to hide the faded decor more than anything. What should have been a big selling point for me is that there is a dartboard and electronic scoreboard in each bar. Indeed, if anywhere could be described as a 'darts' pub then this is it. The fixture list on the wall confirms that the pub currently has three teams playing in various Brighton leagues and a rickety trophy cabinet on the wall displays the silverware that they've won. Possibly the teams must be less than successful as the trophies bring to mind those handed out to the nerdy kid on school sports day just for turning up (I've still got mine somewhere).

For the non darts fan (God help you) there is also a bar billiards table but this has been carelessly shoved against a wall so that only a contortionist would be able to play properly. Ultimately the pub suffers from its location, it will live and die with its regulars as there are plenty of other decent drinking establishments in the immediate vicinity that all offer something more. I did briefly consider hanging around for the quiz at 9 P.M but unfortunately the barmaid chose this time to put 'Country Musics Greatest Plaintive Warbling, Volume II' on the jukebox and Hank Williams drove me out in to the cold January air.

Dog friendly: Yup                 Food: No menus in sight and I wouldn't eat in there anyway.

Outside seating: Small enclosed courtyard at the rear, mainly for smokers. Or stand outside on Albion Hill looking like a 'proper 'ard geezer' (even the women)

Entertainment: TWO dartboards!, bar billiards, fruit machine and a jukebox offering an impressive choice of songs. Probably the pubs only saving grace.

Quiz: Every Monday, 9 PM           Live Music: Rob Tate 5th February, apparently. (can't wait!)

OVERALL SCORE: Albion, Albion, Albion, Albion, Albion, Albioooooon, Albion, Albion, Albion, Albion, ALBION!! Meh......4/10

Seems to me you live your life like Piddle In The Wind. No.7 The Setting Sun

When: January 30th 2012
Where: The Setting Sun, 1 Windmill Street, Brighton
I paid: £3.30 for a pint of Piddle In the Wind

At the top of Carlton Hill on the fringes of the 'trendy' Hanover area stands The Setting Sun. As I'm the postman for the pub once a week I was hoping to scrounge a free pint but the friendly Aussie barman showed no signs of recognition and I was forced to stump up like a regular punter. I opted for a pint of the interestingly named 'Piddle In The Wind', which received a hearty endoresement from the barman. "If you like your stout mate you'll love that, it's got a great earthy taste". I just nodded and grinned, a standard reaction that's my mantra for life. Just nod and grin. If 'earthy' is another term for 'rank', then he was spot on. Maybe it's an acquired taste?

One of the big selling points of the pub are the sweeping views across the rooftops to the sea and even Worthing in the distance. Fantastic on a summers day, they are fetching even in the gathering gloom of a late January afternoon as the streetlights start to come on. There is a small enclosed patio area at the rear of the pub with seating and a comfortable extension should you wish to sit inside. The lighting is subdued with plenty of candles and the music played tends towards the dreary 'ambient' style but it's pitched at a level that is unobtrusive. With no pool table or TV's, it's perhaps not a pub for a lads night but more somewhere you'd stop for a quiet pint on the way home or maybe bring a date. (so I won't be going back in a hurry)

The food menu is extensive and competitively priced but £5.25 seems a wee bit ambitious for dessert. I was tempted by the Monday special of 'burger and a pint' for £6.50 but in the end just settled for another pint of the earthy stuff in the vain hope it would grow on me. Quiet when I arrived, the pub had started to fill up a bit and chatting to another punter whilst being served it somehow transpired that we were both in training for the marathon. This led to a challenge from the barman that neither of us could run down to the bottom of Carlton Hill and back to the pub inside 5 minutes.........Even with a pint of stout inside me I fancied my chances at this but Aussie boy then moved the goalposts to 4 minutes and the bet was off. (probably just as well as no prize had been discussed and quite apart from that I'd have looked bloody stupid). It's an idea to consider for the summer though. 'The Setting Sun challenge', with the fastest times going up on a wall of fame. Just as long as the prize isn't a pint of Piddle In The Wind eh?


Dog friendly: Nope                          Games: No pool table, dartboard, TV or jukebox. Not that kind of pub.

Outdoor seating: Patio area at rear and a couple of tables at the front     Quiz: Every 2nd Sunday

Live music: No                       Food: Large menu, freshly cooked and competitively priced.

OVERALL SCORE: 7/10 It's a view to a hill.

Where everybody knows the dogs name- No.6 The Stanley Arms

When: August 31 2011
Where: The Stanley Arms, 47 Wolseley Road, Portslade
I paid: £3 for a pint of Tribute, 80p to keep the dog quiet (mini cheddars)

Two Portslade pubs in one day then, but I was stuck dogsitting in the town and to be honest any rival distractions are pretty limited. I decided to treat Hannah the dog to a night out (I'm a nice guy) and it appeared she'd made the 200 yard journey on more than one previous occasion as from the moment we left the front door it was as if she was on a pre-programmed route. It became evident why when we entered the pub as she was greeted like an old friend by most of the regulars (I got a few polite nods) who proceeded to ply her with crisps and mini-cheddars, making a mockery of the strict diet she was on (sorry Daz!).

It's a friendly place, tucked away in a row of terraced houses in a quiet part of town. Despite this, it's commonly known as 'Portslade's best pub' which may not be the highest accolade in the world but it ensures that things are rarely quiet. The pub offers an excellent selection of real ales on tap and regularly hosts its own beer festivals. Like The Victoria, it also has a dartboard but that's pretty much where the similarities end. An interesting array of football memorabilia adorns the walls and this kept me amused whilst the regulars continued to fuss over Hannah. My original plans to just stay for 'a quick pint' were soon abandoned.

It was pub quiz night and fortified by a few pints of Tribute I decided to enter. The Stanley is split into two small bars and the quiz was only meant to be taking place in one of them but such was the demand that there ended up being an overspill of teams in both bars. This led to the somewhat flustered quiz master shuttling back and forth to do the marking and read out the questions twice (ever heard of a microphone?). A few well meaning non-participants decided to stop feeding Hannah and fed me with a few duff answers instead (Janis Joplin?!?). By the end of Round 2 it became obvious I was hopefully adrift in the scoring but I was enjoying myself too much to care. The barman then bought round individual dishes of crisps and cheese for every team (Hannah enjoyed it) which I thought was a nice touch. Unfortunately, the steady supply of snacks started to play havoc with her guts and some unpleasant smells (it wasn't me!) led to a few funny looks from other punters.....Time to go then, but I will be back.

I don't want to go home!

Dog friendly: Very                         Games: Dartboard, no pool table, 2 TV's showing Sky Sports

Food: 'A range of hot and cold food available at bar' apparently, didn't see a menu or pricelist.

Outdoor seating: Small patio area at the rear        Live music: Yup, regularly

Meat raffle: Every Sunday!          Quiz: Erm yeah, it's Wednesday nights

OVERALL SCORE: 8.5/10.........Portslade's best pub? I think so.