I beg your pardon, I never promised you a Hoegaarden. No.8 The Albion Inn

When: 30 January 2012
Where: The Albion Inn, 28 Albion Hill, Brighton.
I paid: £3.50 for a pint of London Pride, innit?

The Albion Inn, Brighton. Not to be confused with The Albion Inn, Hove or indeed, The Albion Inn, Islington. Yet to visit the Hove offering but hopefully they're both better than this place. Situated halfway up Albion Hill, it's sandwiched between muesli friendly Hanover and the less salubrious tower blocks of the Ashton Rise estate. Unfortunately, I have first hand knowledge of the high-rise grubbiness because I used to work here. The only enjoyment coming from seeing how quickly I could pelt down the 12 storeys whilst delivering (the record being 4 mins 36 seconds, Thornsdale, June 2007....no misdeliveries that day then!) Oh what fun I had....

  The pub itself could probably do with a good scrub as well. There are two bars but both are sparsely furnished with a few tables and wooden flooring throughout. There are plenty of pictures adorning the walls, some are of relevant Brighton scenes but most are just a jumble that seem to have been put up to hide the faded decor more than anything. What should have been a big selling point for me is that there is a dartboard and electronic scoreboard in each bar. Indeed, if anywhere could be described as a 'darts' pub then this is it. The fixture list on the wall confirms that the pub currently has three teams playing in various Brighton leagues and a rickety trophy cabinet on the wall displays the silverware that they've won. Possibly the teams must be less than successful as the trophies bring to mind those handed out to the nerdy kid on school sports day just for turning up (I've still got mine somewhere).

For the non darts fan (God help you) there is also a bar billiards table but this has been carelessly shoved against a wall so that only a contortionist would be able to play properly. Ultimately the pub suffers from its location, it will live and die with its regulars as there are plenty of other decent drinking establishments in the immediate vicinity that all offer something more. I did briefly consider hanging around for the quiz at 9 P.M but unfortunately the barmaid chose this time to put 'Country Musics Greatest Plaintive Warbling, Volume II' on the jukebox and Hank Williams drove me out in to the cold January air.

Dog friendly: Yup                 Food: No menus in sight and I wouldn't eat in there anyway.

Outside seating: Small enclosed courtyard at the rear, mainly for smokers. Or stand outside on Albion Hill looking like a 'proper 'ard geezer' (even the women)

Entertainment: TWO dartboards!, bar billiards, fruit machine and a jukebox offering an impressive choice of songs. Probably the pubs only saving grace.

Quiz: Every Monday, 9 PM           Live Music: Rob Tate 5th February, apparently. (can't wait!)

OVERALL SCORE: Albion, Albion, Albion, Albion, Albion, Albioooooon, Albion, Albion, Albion, Albion, ALBION!! Meh......4/10